Extra Innings

Is this Fenway Park?  

If my life’s passing before my eyes, I’m ready.  Yes, sir, Billy McNamara’s had a rough go of it these last ten months.  

Let’s go, Red Sox!

TOP OF THE FIRST

Why won't the Jumbotron turn on? I can’t even see the players from here!  Have we reversed the curse yet?

BOTTOM OF THE THIRD

Jesus, these seats are uncomfortable.

BOTTOM OF THE FIFTH

Did the runner on second just steal first?  I can’t see anything.

BOTTOM OF THE SEVENTH

And the Jumbotron’s working.  Sox-Yankees! Scoreless, with 10 strikeouts and 8 errors?  Huh.

BOTTOM OF THE EIGHTH

“Sweet Caroline!”  

TOP OF THE NINTH

I don’t remember this game at all.  I don’t even remember these players.  My memory really did go to Hell.

BOTTOM OF THE NINTH

I’d pull the plug right now for a walk-off homer and a Sam Adams Summer Ale.

TOP OF THE TWELFTH

How many outs have there been?  I’d swear this is number four.  And enough with the God damn wave.

BOTTOM OF THE FOURTEENTH

This might be sacrilege, but could you just let the Yankees win?  

TOP OF THE NINETEENTH

Can we get a thunderstorm?  A meteor?  Just make this stop.

TOP OF THE TWENTY-FOURTH

My ex-wife’s not making it to the funeral, is she?

BOTTOM OF THE TWENTY-SEVENTH

Boy could I use a painkiller.  These seats are getting smaller every inning.  

BOTTOM OF THE THIRTIETH

I wonder if my son will show up.

BOTTOM OF THE THIRTY-THIRD

I just want to sleep.

BOTTOM OF THE THIRTY-EIGHTH

Is that my mechanic in the outfield?

TOP OF THE FORTIETH

WOULD BILLY MCNAMARA PLEASE STEP UP TO THE PLATE